Far to great expectations

Have you ever heard that phrase "A blessing in disguise"? It is really nice when it happens (and you actually recognize it). But have you sort of had, oh, what is the opposite of a blessing... and curse I guess? Ok, have you ever had a curse in disguise? I don't mean to be negative, but it is something I've been struggling with, and, well, what is this blog for but to be my soap box? Just kidding. :-) Anyway, last year I did REALLY well in school, honors and the whole shebang and our homeschool co-op. Then it comes around to this year. Aaaahhhh! How on earth am I supposed to live up to all these expectations?! Of course, realistically, probably nobody will remember the great things I did last year, but I remember what other people did last year, so there is always the possibility that they will remember me.

I'm naturally worried about what others think, and quite frankly, that why I don't post very often. If I'm going to post anything it has got to be impressive right?! I feel like Elizabeth Bennet when she said "Neither of us want to say anything unless it will amaze the whole room" (Or something like that =). Anyway, yes. I do have a pride issue. So now this year I got so worried that at one point school consumed my life, and I actually stopped reading my Bible everyday. Some of you are probably thinking "What?! Of all things! School? She let school get in the way?" I know, a shocker, but I actually really do enjoy school, so it wasn't like I was torturing myself.

I let the good get in the way of the absolute best. But you know what? God has been working in me, and as much of a paranoid wreck as I am over grades, I am now willing to fail every single class to grow in God, to get an A+ in the most important course, at the best school ever. Yes, some of the things God will ask of me will be harder than anything I can imagine right now, but it is all worth it. His opinion is the only one that matters.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."

I Peter 5:6-7