sept fifteen

50mm     ISO320     f/2.5     1/400     5:41PM(Eastern)     9/15/17

Guys.  I haven't seen her smile like that before.  That's Brittany overflowing with joy because she gets to marry her gentle giant tomorrow. <3 nbsp="" p="">
(North Carolina sunsets are magic)

sept fourteen

50mm     ISO1250     f/1.8     1/160     8:09PM(Eastern)     9/14/17

Tequilah survived the 15 hour drive to North Carolina and loves the AirBnB.

Peace out.

sept thirteen

50mm     ISO320     f/2.2    1/1250      6:31PM     9/13/17

Caught some fairies in the evening glow.

Actually they're the really bad kind of fairies called mosquitos, but they sure are pretty that far away instead of all over my neck. :)

sept twelve

50mm    ISO500     f/2.8     1/200     9:02PM     9/12/17

This is my sweet Dad.  His whole summer has been working to support our family during the day and working in the shop at night to make this bed for he and my Mom.  He's designed the whole thing and is just finishing the last drawer tonight.  Sometimes engineers get laughed at for not being "creative," but I think it's just a different kind of creativity.  He is precise, yes, but he's also added so many little details and flourishes.  He routinely says, "happiness is a perfectly cut dovetail."  I so admire his creativity and skill in the workshop and love all the hours I've spent learning from him there.  I'm so proud of my Papa!

sept eleven

50mm     ISO1250     f/2.8     1/160      6:42PM     9/11/17

She's 12 going on 13 and doing her own research for a volcano project.  And was in pajamas basically all day.  Yup, she's homeschooled alright. :)  It's kinda crazy to think that she still has 10 years before she's my age, but she's only got 2 inches to go my height.  She's growing up fast and has begun baking recently (thank you British Baking Show for influencing out waistlines).

Because I haven't been shooting much we don't have any pictures from this era of life except her myriad selfies on all of out phones.  That makes me sad.  She's growing up before my very eyes, and I want that to be in front of my lens at least a little.

#shootforfamily

sept ten

50mm     ISO4000     f/2.8     1/160     11:49PM     9/10/17

I don't know what it is.  But being away from home for any length of time or being busy enough that only sleeping hours are spent at home creates a vacuum in my heart.  I think it was the same for my Mom.  I grew up with her saying she had to "commune with the house," or "have a home day," or "center herself" (i.e. clean the house top to bottom).

Well, I think there's something like that in my soul too.  If I'm grumpy there could be a couple causes that make no sense except that they're part of a repeating pattern.  Is Jo grumpy?  If no: Wow! That's wonderful.  And maybe she really is. . .she's just hiding it.  If yes: has she eaten?  Has she washed her hair recently?  Has she done something creative/artsy recently?  Has she journaled?  Is her space neat?  Has she sat alone or virtually alone with no requirement to speak or react recently?

These are "centering" things.  My INJF heart craves them sometimes and if I haven't had them it makes me want to be a fly on the wall, not an active participant in life.  If forced to participate (or if I force myself to participate. . .) I shall probably be grumpy.

Today the house was calling and the answer was to clean all the dishes.  My space wasn't neat and it was making my heart not so neat either.  Next will be lying in bed and staring at the ceiling in utter silence till I start to hear God.  And maybe tomorrow I'll journal.  The week is starting to look up. ;)

sept nine

50mm     ISO100     f/2.8     1/400     4:17     9/9/17

Congratulations, Seth and Grace Rice!!

#secondshoot

sept eight

50mm     ISO1600     f/2.5     1/80     9:37PM     9/8/17

Calm before the storm.  I think I should add it to my second shooter resume that I bring comics to read after the rehearsal and make the first shooter laugh. :)  Awkward Yeti/Heart & Brain is the bestest.

Tonight was yet another example of "I'm working, I can't take personal photos," until I remembered this was a thing and finally got it out.  Also, photographers aren't in near enough photos.  I love to catch them behind the scenes like they do so well for everyone else. :)

#shootphotographers

sept seven

50mm     ISO1000     f/1.6     1/50     6:34PM     9/7/17

Good old fashioned fun.  And good old fashioned lessons in how to speak nicely to one another.  How to share.  How to be patient.  How to work together.

This particular lego project started as mine, but when someone asked if they could "help" the answer was always yes.  Soon we're all squeezed into one small space trying to recreate a garden and fountain out of legos.  And we're expressing our emotions rather loudly...apparently.  I love how all the bright colors all over the place are like the emotions that children wear on their sleeves.  But somehow we're learning to sort them out and be choosing to be content with our blues or looking at someone else's perspective before being jealous and taking what they have.  We're bringing every thought and emotion captive to Christ and living well -- as he designed us to.

#shootthemessy  #letthembekids

sept six

50mm     ISO800     f/2.8     1/160     8:38PM     9/6/17

Why the picture of the dirty kitchen?  Because I totally forgot about the challenge and was feeling the need for something sweet.  I've been dizzy and sick all day and some shortbread and cinnamon whipped cream was just what the "doctor" ordered.  But honestly, the more I look at this picture the more I like it.  The is my apartment, aka, "The 6."  This is real life.  This is a part of MY life I don't want to forget.  Late nights, random baking adventures, piles of dishes sometimes, and so much heat put off by this old gas stove that the flat mate and I have decided we won't need any heat this winter. :)

#shootforyou

sept five

50mm     ISO1600     f2.8     1/400     5:09PM     9/5/17

Didn't want to shoot anything today.  I was hot and cold and happy and sad and motivated and worn.  But I was 30 minutes early for Taekwondo, so I practiced using my self timer (10 seconds, one shot) and my high turning kick.  Took about 30 shots, but only 3 were timed perfectly enough to catch my foot close or at it's peak.   Keep shooting I guess.  Don't give up.  And don't be afraid to be your own subject?  I struggle with that in particular.  I want to be in photos, but I don't like wanting it...  It's weird.

#justkeepshooting  #bethesubject

sept four

50mm     ISO4000     f2.0     1/80     9:04PM     9/4/17

 In which my boyfriend helps my little sister cream me in Jaipur.  And Timothy is normal.  :)

I had some stressful moments today.  I had some sad moments today.  I also had some amazingly right moments today.  It's important to acknowledge and grow from struggles, but (since I struggle with being a pessimist) I must choose to curate my memories toward those where the glass is half-full, not those where it's half-empty.  When you shoot, you are telling the story and creating the memory.  Shoot even the sad things in a way that brings hope and beauty

#curate

sept three

50mm     ISO250     f2.0     1/1250    5:58PM     9/3/17

 Sundays are rough for taking pictures.  They are "be" days, not "document" days.

So I went out and took some obligatory pictures.

Of flowers.

They were cool, but they didn't hit home (actually they were kinda lame).  They didn't tell a story.

So I brought the camera out at Bible Study (where Kevin and Celia were in town for just the day).

We took a group photo, and then it clicked that all three of my original pseudo-bros were now married (as of 2 months ago) and were all there with their wives!  So we took a group photo.

I was worried about being the annoying girl with the camera.

I didn't want to push things.  But I shot anyway.  Because, you know, the challenge, and, like, failing 3 days in, and wanting to push myself...   So I directed them and then relied on the group of other Bible study fan behind me to provide comic relief.  And I just shot everything.

Now we have amazing snapshots of Danny's sense of humor, and Christen's baby belly, and Celia's laugh, and Kevin's beard. . .This bit of time will never come back again.  It's a different season from when the guys were all around our table eating one-pot and talking theology, and another different season is on the way.  But this here and now is the gift of the present.

It totally beat the flower shot.

Uncomfortable?  #shootanyway  #shootthestory

Our actual shot

sept two

Tilt Shift Lens     ISO100     f/0.0     1/320   5:17PM    9/2/17

So we're walking towards the apple orchard and I let these two newlywed friends of mine walk on ahead.  I was messing with my new tilt-shift and missed the shot when they kissed, so I yelled at them to do it again.  Was it posed?  Yes.  Was it real?  Yes.  When telling a true story it is important to not make people do something they wouldn't normally do -- that's fake.  But it's ok to recreate a moment (when you've got the focus on your new lens almost right. :) )  This has the vibe of that NYC moment when WWII ended:  "The Kiss."  And I like it.  I like it a lot.
#recreatethemoment

sept one

50mm     ISO100     f/2.0     1/2000     4:20PM     9/1/17

[This shot was born in the in-between moments.  None of the pictures I posed really turned out.  Kind of a sucker punch to the ego, but that's why you roll with the punches.  #shootinbetween ]

Thunderstorms will Continue

I have a nifty weather app on my phone that pushes notification to my lock screen.  Things like, "30% chance of rain at 3pm," "Flash flood warning from until 9pm," and "Mostly Cloudy in the afternoon." Yeah, it's handy for something, I'm sure. :)  I mostly ignore it.  But we'll get back to that.

These past couple days have been interesting.  Listening to friends' joys and troubles.  Teaching and learning skills.  Processing and diagnosing and sleeping.  And then yesterday I heard that after an involved interview process I would not be getting a job that every single person I know thought was a sure-win.  It doesn't hurt not getting the job, but it's confusing.  

I spent the last couple MONTHS praying about applying and finally doing it and mentally preparing to work in this particular field and business for years.  Years.  That's purpose.  That's direction.  That's certainty.  And now it's confusion.  Do I know anything that's certain for the next couple years?

I looked down at my phone and actually read the weather report.  It was simply: "Thunderstorms will continue." No probability or time frame, just the straight truth.  Thunderstorms will continue.  

I looked at the rejection of my application and thought, "thunder."  I looked at my garbage -- the result of days of having a runny nose and sniffled, "thunder."  I looked at my crazy schedule, filled with wonderful friends (and some of their drama) and said, "thunder."  Then I felt the cares and questions of my heart: "thunder."

Yes, the sound and distance of my thunder may change, but it will remain.  In every age there will be things I don't understand; Emotions to feel, fears to be conquered, things to get done, places to go, and trials to grow through, but there will also be the Rock of Ages.  

I've got a fortress named Jesus Christ who remains the same yesterday, today, and forever, so let the storm rage.  This, my friends, is certain -- not just for the next couple years, but into infinity and beyond.

Cluttered Heart

It just happened all of a sudden.  I woke up and couldn't get up.

I glanced around my room and saw projects strewn left and right, papers piled high with the mental note "to read" posted on them.  Artifacts from my travels, gifts from and for friends.  Dirty clothes in one pile, clean clothes in another.  The door to my closet broken and propped in the corner.  The clock blinking 10:15 and my phone announcing dozens of emails, texts, and notifications of varying importance.  I finally sit up and see that to get to the door will be an obstacle course of not stepping on cords or shoes or dust bunnies (the ones that aren't under random purses and boxes filled with more junk I need to go through and put away.

It didn't all get here overnight.  A little each day I put things down on top of yesterdays things.  Till I would fall asleep exhausted amid the piles and wake up stressed among the same piles.  All the time knowing full well I couldn't deal with it now because there were places to be. Things to do.

And the piles grew.

Till they swallowed me.  That's when I realized it wasn't my room that was messy, but my heart.

A little each day.  Stacking experiences and posting a note "to process."  Piling texts and emails and notes and somewhere after "reaction" and before "respond."  Replaying conversations over and over till I get the energy to decide how they actually make me feel.  Glancing at the burning pile that says "to cry about" and writing the post-script "later" until the emergency sprinklers decide to go off without my permission.  Having so many people to care about scattered about and having so many good intentions to give them time and energy but always walking past them unfulfilled.  And on my way out the door tripping over disappointment and death and lies and my own failure.

And the piles grow.

Oh Jesus, I've got the room covered. . .I think.  But this heart thing has got me so tired.  I'm completely overwhelmed by my own emotions and troubles and good intentions(a.k.a. failures).
Pleas take it all.  I am defeated.  My hope is in you.  My ONLY hope.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen."  I Peter 5:6-11

Look What God Has Wrought!

It is in the shelter of each other that people live. -Irish Proverb

So, this was a happy time.  This was our Bible study group (not all pictured) coming together to throw a surprise party in celebration of all our friend Sammi has meant to us.  

She's going away for work and school and doing crazy awesome cool adult stuff, but we'll miss her like crazy, so we combined a bunch of her favorite things and surprised her with a party, had a sleep over, did home church together, and then spent the most amazingly relaxing afternoon letting go of our cares and just existing together -- free to be young.  Not sure what that looks like to you, but to us that's having deep conversations on the deck, doing trick shots with a frisbee, riding excitedly down the hill in a wagon, raking up sticks, doing cartwheels, or just laying in the grass and enjoying the sunshine.

Post party weekend, Emma commented that we were not just her best friends, but family.  family.  

We may look confident and put together here (let's be honest -- we look really good ;), but I got to thinking about this group and I was struck by the reality of how crazy it is that this seemingly random group of souls are even friends, let alone family -- children and heirs!  We clean up good, but we've got issues.

We've got work stress.  We've got baggage from past relationships. We've got consequences for past actions.  We've got depression.  We've got eating disorders.  We've got bitterness.  We've got jealousy.  We've got addictions.  We've got masks.  We've got pride.  We've got rebellion.  We've got school stress.  We've got lies.  We believe lies.  We're lazy.  We whine.

But GOD. . .

Somehow, in this miracle that is redemption, we are changing and growing.  Like iron sharpening iron as we bump into each other and make mistakes, God is shaping us all to look more like his son Jesus Christ.  We've still got those issues, but when I look at our group now I see proof of God's love.  I see 1 John 4: 7-12, 18-21(emphasis added)

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.  Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.  In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.  In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.  Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.  No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. . .

 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.  We love because he first loved us.  If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot[a] love God whom he has not seen.  And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.

 We're learning to care for and shelter one another.  We're learning to love our brother because we love God, because He first loved us!

Now when I look at this conglomerate of humans from all over the geographical area (and 8 different churches) I see how we're changing and growing.  I see what God is doing -- making a people for himself.  

A people who strives for unity.  A people who forgives.  A people who prays.  A people who builds up.  A people who is honest.  A people who shares God's gospel.  A people who sacrifices.  A people who gives.  A people who serves.  A people who denies the world and lives holy.  A people who asks for help.  A people who discerns.  A people who tries to understand.  A people who rejoices.  A people who does hard things because God. Is. Worth. It.  A people who heals.  A people who shelters.

 

Our Bible study has always been a living organism, but seeing the growing pains and the work of the Holy Spirit in just the last 4 months has been so encouraging to my personal spiritual walk with God. And it excites me to see how God will work in the next months!

Like Baalam blessed the people of Israel, I want it to be said of us, "Look what God has done!"

"Behold, I received a command to bless: he has blessed, and I cannot revoke it.
He has not beheld misfortune in Jacob, nor has he seen trouble in Israel.
The Lord their God is with them, and the shout of a king is among them. God brings them out of Egypt and is for them like the horns of the wild ox.  For there is no enchantment against Jacob, no divination against Israel; now it shall be said of Jacob and Israel, ‘What has God wrought!’"
Numbers 23:20-23

(Not all are pictured, this is just the surprise group)

Blessed beyond measure,

Joanna Kay

3 John 4

3 Things

• "God wants us to be really strong, which is different from the way we might typically desire to be strong. We often want to be strong in a way that reflects well on us. God wants us to be strong in a way that reflects well on him."  This article keeps hitting home.
• The Dialect of Questions is a tool I have loved being taught with without realizing it. . .I'd love to get better at using it.
• Because I'm an aspiring linguist, I find this fascinating:

9 Types of Spanish Accents - Joanna Rants
9 Types of Spanish Accents with Joanna Hausmann Comedy
Posted by Flama on Friday, October 2, 2015

Hawaii Week 2

Rainy days are for doing school and taking naps (View from balcony)

Pretty typical Hawaiian yard plants

I'm doing most of the cooking these days.

This week has been a stay at home week for the most part.  And by that I mean we just do life stuff -- no touristy trips or visits to the beach.  Because getting 4 little people out the door is a bit of an ordeal we pack everything we can into one day.  For example, on one day this week we went to the dentist, got special donuts, and took everyone to get flu shots all in one day.  That is an adventure.

Staying home days are a bit of an adventure for me as well.  We've taken on the challenge to use up all of the canned and dry goods so I've been looking up recipes that have these things in them, starting to cook them, and then ending up substituting half of the ingredients before it's all said and done.  I've never cooked with so many canned vegetables in my entire like.  It's weird.  But I've been making lots of yummy bread to go along with the interesting things, so it all works out.

Some other random thoughts:

• Crest is way better than Colgate.  (I've actually felt this way for a while, but I'm reminded of it again this week)
• Turns out I can't even do 1 pushup correctly.  That's about to change.
• Went snorkeling (crazy story!) and scraped my feet up on the reef but my skin is so thick that even the largish gouges didn't bleed.  #barefootforlife

Once again, underwater cameras can document some pretty interesting times.

• Maybe this should have been first. . .but Taekwondo ROCKS.  I found a dojang only 5 minutes down the mountain and the people are so kind and helpful (which looks like really pushing you sometimes).  I've bruised up my feet a little, but it's so worth it.
• I've become so aware and thankful of texts and messages and calls from the mainland (or my friends in other countries).  It's not like I've moved permanently, but sometimes it feels like it because I can't just call up a friend and say, "Hey, let's get together and talk/do something."  I may be an introvert, but that doesn't mean I don't need people.  It means I appreciate just being in the same room sometimes.  Just listening to my siblings or friends talk.  Skype and phones are a poor but necessary substitute. :)
• I've not figured out a nice way to tell little kids that I don't want to pick them up this morning because their breath smells so bad.  I have figured out how to put up with it though, because smiley-excited-morning-pajama hugs from these cute littles are the best hugs I've ever had.  :)

View off the balcony just after sunset