Hud gave me an odd compliment the other day. At least I think it was a compliment. You tell me.
"Jo! Why are your hands always so soft?!" The end. Haha. Gotta love it.
Anyone else live with one or more brothers? They're an interesting thing. Sometimes you can't live with them, but you certainly couldn't live without them.
See this brother? This is Hudson. People used to think we were twins. I'm starting to understand that, looking at these pictures from last night. :-) He's rather obtuse, but he teaches me grace.
We were best-buds through middle school. We played house and make-believe everyday. One Christmas we were jointly given the Bitty Twins. Don't know what the Bitty Twins are? They're baby dolls made by American Girl. Yes, my dear brother here got a baby doll for Christmas and was just as psyched as I was! The moment I grew out of dolls we started to drift apart. I guess when you're used to playing with each other for 12 hours every day stopping is a drastic change. I became obsessed with books and schoolwork and we didn't talk. We weren't giving each other the silent treatment, we are just both introverts and don't especially like to be the first to start talking.
Now we've both grown so much. We're SO different now. We're adults. We're broken humans. It's plain hard to connect sometimes. But I've been thinking. No matter how hard it is to put yourself out there, isn't it worth it?
Isn't HE worth the effort? How far are you willing to go for your family? Will you fight for them?
Each of my brothers has different love languages, and I'm trying to learn to speak them. Because honestly, saying "I love you" in house doesn't go very far. We're not a touchy-feely family physically and we don't really say touchy-feely stuff either. Yeah, I guess we're sorta dysfunctional like that. It is uncomfortable to show affection, but I'm learning that this really isn't a negotiable point. I need to learn to show affection.
Maybe this sounds totally weird to you. "What, she doesn't know how to show affection?!" But yeah, it's true. Don't get me wrong. I'm super emotional (which may be part of the problem. I hide it by not showing anything) and I feel things almost too deeply. How to show this in the right way though? That's something I'm working through, and I'm starting with Hudson.
So we're going to start painting together.
I have one brother and four sisters . . . and my brother is the affectionate one (he is 19 almost 20) and will hug us and has for several years (of course sometimes it is more of a hug-whether-you-want-to-or-not/hug-just-to-bug kind of thing) . . . he is much more extroverted than all of us girls I think. We all talk in our family but don't necessarily click. Family dynamics are interesting to say the least, and it is interesting how every family is so different.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it? Family can be difficult, but they're ours. :-)
Deletewow. I love this.
ReplyDeleteThis is a timely post Joanna. I have just been thinking of ways to better connect with my one brother. I find it easy to relate to my four sisters, but recently I have been convicted of my relationship with my brother. I need to take the initiative, and start talking. (or listening) Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDelete