January 13, 2015


It's not just a new year for me, it is the end of the beginning.  2015 holds the end of my planned future.  Granted, I only planned through college, but it is still weird seeing the end of the road and not knowing what is beyond it.

For years people have been asking:  "What are you doing afterward?"  "Are you going to work?"  "What about your photography?"  "Are you going to get married?" "Where are you going to live?"  "Do you have plans?"  These questions used to bug me (especially the marriage one.  Like, how am I supposed to know?! But I digress. . .) but now I hear them and instead of panic there is curiosity.  I can look them in the eyes, smile, and just say I've been wondering the same thing! 

I love the security of school and the control of a holding pattern(my Dad was a pilot, we use a ton of Air Force and pilot jargon around here), because you exactly what you are supposed to do.  Wake up, read, write, eat, think, sleep, dream, repeat. (By the way, I dream just about every night.  It's pretty cool)  Now seeds of things I've always wanted to do are being planted in the soil of my little heart.  Just waiting for the right time to break through and open to the sun.  Things like finally finish learning Morris Code.  Cook my way through one of my cookbooks.  Leave a massive tip at a restaurant.  Become TESOL certified.  Learn ju jitsu or karate.  Road trip somewhere remote and live like and owl so I can watch the Stars all night.  Dress up and go to an Opera.  Change someone's life.  Take voice lessons.  Join the swim team again.  Volunteer at an orphanage.  Start painting again.  Finally become fluent in another language.  Flip a house.  Go for walks when it rains.  Learn how to wear makeup (yeah. . . I'm 20 and haven't really bothered with it yet. . .).  Learn how to do more than just change oil or tires on a car.  Learn how to hot-wire a car.  Stop losing things.  Learn kanji characters.  Memorize Titus.

There is an ocean of possibilities in these uncharted waters.  So 2015?  Let's do this.

"Send out your light and your truth;
let them lead me;
let them bring me to your holy hill
and to your dwelling!
Then I will go to the altar of God,
to God my exceeding joy,
and I will praise you with the lyre,
O God, my God."
Psalm 43:3-4 (ESV)