Rockford, Il   10:08

I went to bed early.  I woke up a little late.  I slept, but I did not rest.  It doesn't make sense.  Even though I physically slept, my brain has not settled for the past 48 hours and I remain physically, mentally, and emotional unrested.

Days keep moving.  Things keep doing.  The sun still shines.  

I'm in the doldrums I suppose.

I keep paddling, but the farther I go the bigger the ocean gets.  I'm stuck in this little dingy and there's no land in view.  I'm getting dehydrated.  Time keeps rolling by.

"Why are you cast down, O my soul,

and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,

my salvation and my God."

Psalm 42:5-6

Sometimes

"We confuse ACTIVITY and ACCOMPLISHMENT"

 -Howard Hendricks

Sometimes we put off dishes a little longer to enjoy conversation around the table.

Sometimes we chase around the house two more times before we do our chores.

Sometimes we dance while we sweep the floor.

Sometimes we just snuggle in the rocking chair instead of starting school right away.

Sometimes we read books.

Sometimes we chase bubbles.

Sometimes we sing.

Sometimes we smile.

Sometimes we rest.

Sometimes we need to BE more than we need to DO.

Always, we trust.

Come, behold the works of the Lord,

how he has brought desolations on the earth.

 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;

he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;

he burns the chariots with fire.

 “Be still, and know that I am God.

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth!”

 The Lord of hosts is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress. 

                                                     Selah

Psalm 46: 8-11esv, emphasis added

Live Your Summer

Summer.

The memories of days spent sewing and creating; the soft breeze that flows over the lake; the rustling of leaves; the thunderstorms; the gentle rain and the smell of cut grass; the books devoured on the swing or picnic blanket or couch under a fan; the meetings with friends; the crazy adventures to water parks; the grilled meals eaten on the deck; the mosquitos and fireflies; the dancing in the back yard at twilight when no one is around; the singing of merry songs; the exhaustion after a competitive sport; the sweat and laughter; the heat that emanates from sunburned arms and face; the sweet taste of lemonade; the sun floating through the tress; the girls in bright colors; the flowers that grow; the laundry on the line; the light blue sky; the harsh shadows; the meeting of new friends; the reunions with family; the anticipation of tomorrow, these are things I remember about summer.

It's hard for me to let go of things like this.  I savor those moments when I can remember exactly what something was like.  The taste, the feel, the smell, the sound, and the look bring me straight back and I remember.

This summer is different. I can no longer fly on a whim or pick up and just go.  This summer,

• I'm in school. 1 Test every 2 weeks, or at least that's the plan.  Every minute should be spent productively.
• I'm working.  I have to be places at a certain time and be engaged.

Because this is my life for the next couple years I've been struggling with burnout.  I study, study, study , and do, do, do but never get anywhere and am never finished.  I live in the past with my memories or I live in the future with my plans.  This is no life.

But guess what guys!  I'm learning to live.

I know, I know, eat, drink, sleep and you'll live.  But it's so much more.  I'm not living for tomorrow anymore.  Sure, I make plans and I have goals and trips I'm looking forward to but I'm not living for them.  I'm living now.  It has been a crazy journey to come to this point and I'm not sure I've completely arrived but God has been changing me little by little.  He's showing me what really matters.  Of course I "knew" before, but this is so different.  It's part of my being now.  I can't escape it.  It isn't locked away in my brain anymore but starting to flow through my hands and feet.  How cool is it to watch God work; to change a sinner like me?!  It's crazy folks.

My calendar is chalk full of activities and deadlines and get-togethers, but I can truly say with Martin Luther that “There are two days in my calendar: This day and that Day.”  I want to live like there's no tomorrow.  I want to invest in people now.  Jim Elliot said "Wherever you are, be all there."  That quote has changed my life in so many practical ways.

That Day (rapture/eternity) is coming, and I don't have time to not slow down.  I don't have time to not take the time to love someone. Does that make sense?  When I realized that I almost fell over.

Life is beautiful guys.  Life is fleeting.  Life is busy.

Sometimes, you've just got to be still.

Be still and know that He is God!

Then get off that couch and go change your world!

Right about... NOW.   Yup, now is the time.

Go MAD! (Make a Difference)

Haircut!

I got my hair cut about a week ago.  I'd been planning on it for a while, but I finally decided to get it done this past week.  I went up to the Youth Conference in Appleton, WI and one of my friends there is in cosmetology school.  We got to talking about it over ice cream and we decided to just do it the next day during the 4 hour sports/fellowship break.

For some background, here is what my hair looked like LAST spring.  I got it cut just before I went to London.  I got side bangs and layers and all that jazz.  I thought it was SO short.  haha.  Yeah, no I see what my friends were saying.  It's not short. :-)

 Spring 2012

Summer 2012 - right before London

 Winter/Spring (It can't seem to decide, and it's May!) 2013

It grew probably 5+ inches in almost a year.  Time for something a little more drastic!

Summer 2013

These are my best friends Emily and Kara.  We always dress Indian on Sundays when I visit. :-) Sometimes it's chudidars and more recently it's been saris.  I love them.  LOVE them. 

Still getting used to the shorter bangs and the feel, but I do really like it.  I can still wear it any way I want, but ponytails are so incredibly fun!

It swings and bounces like you wouldn't believe.  

Just barely layered.  I love it!

P.S. Self portraits are really awkward.

For My Mom

Dear Mom,

For all the late nights, tears, headaches, aches, & pains;

I thank you.

For all the songs, stories, rhythms, encouragements & books read aloud;

I thank you.

For all the dances, hugs, back-rubs, massages, ring-around-the-rosies, tickles, & tumbles;

I thank you.

For all the homework helps, smiley faces, challenges, successes & book-learning;

I thank you.

For all the favorite meals, snacks, & bandaids on my boo-boos (or stitches my face);

I thank you.

For all the craft skills, tea parties & dress-up clothes;

I thank you.

For your honesty and openness, not only of your home but of your heart; for loving my Daddy and showing my what a godly marriage looks like; for your quickness to forgive and ask forgiveness, for your spontaneity; for your grace; for your passion; for being a doer; for being a try-er; for falling down and picking yourself right back up; for always believing in me;

Mom, you're the best

No, seriously.  You're the coolest Mom in the history of moms.

Even when you fail at using pop slang the right way or sing at the top of your lungs in the middle of the grocery store parking lot.

Even though I haven't told you everyday or even every week or month I can start now:

I love you!

I love you mum, and I hope one day I can be as awesome of a mom as you are.

Thank you for not giving up.

Thanks for being mine.

Awkward & Awesome Thursday: quinze

AWKWARD

• The above photo.  Windblown bangs (ick) and sleepy eyes.  Somethings just don't need to be documented.
• It's Friday.  :-)
• Well, nothing really awkward happened recently.  Actually, I ALWAYS have trouble coming up with awkward things that have happened to me.  I guess my brain just forgets them or I just don't get embarrassed very easily...

Sammi and I found this awesome camera but neither wanted to spend $25 on it and have it clutter our rooms without a purpose. :-) So take a picture with it.

AWESOME

• I was truant yesterday.  Yes, the studybug has admitted it.  I didn't do a lick of studying yesterday.  Pretty gutsy considering I have two big CLEP tests coming up, but I was SO demotivated and it was raining.  Rain brings on my creativity and makes me happy.  So I sewed and designed all day yesterday.  It was truly awesome.
• Garage saleing with Sammi. :-)  I spent under $5 and got my new favorite pair of jeans($.50), A pair of earrings ($.50), a belt ($1), a scarf ($.50), The Poky Little Puppy($.25), and a cardigan($2). And mum bought me a fine umbrella ($2) and some sewing related things so I could make the family cloth napkins.  On top of all that I got to hang with Sammi.  Awesome-possum.
• Late night chats and prayers with friends.
• I bought my plane tickets to Colorado!  I'm interning with IPS and then hanging with the Christians down there for a week in September.  Fun stuff.
• Thankfulness.  Service.  Love.  Christian Living.  God is good, folks.  God is so incredibly good, even when I feel terrible or stressed out.  He is good and he knows.
• Cleaning.  Making a mess disappear is so invigorating.  Had I learned it sooner it would have saved me much hassle. ;-)
• Finding some incredible new photoshoot locations!  I'm looking forward to a nautical inspired fashion shoot maybe...Maybe I can rope the guys into participating as well!  Oh, summer, summer, wherefore art thou filled with school!
• Jamie is home!  I only get to hang with him for 3 weeks before he goes and does grown-up things like intern in New York for the summer, so I'm soaking it up. I'm so proud of that kid.
• Rest and quiet.  I love, love, love hospitality but sometimes it is nice to just chill with the fam and not have to say anything.  To just sit at the kitchen table and study together, or go for hours without talking out loud.  To swing, and meditate, and create, and just wait.  This is my heartcry today.

"Return, O my soul, to your rest;

    for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you."

Psalm 116:7

Awkward & Awesome Thursday: quatorze

AWKWARD

• Waiting for some friends in Starbucks next to this guy who keeps what sounds like $4 of change in his pocket...in pennies. Not awkward? Just wait.  He has an annoying quirk that makes him bounce his leg for minutes on ends.  It was like a heard of reindeer dancing a jig.
• Prom photos.  They're just hard to look at sometimes.  So we took so abnormal ones. :-)
• My socks.  The dryer eats all my nice white and black ones and continues to spit out the neon striped orange, pink, turquoise and purple ones with the cats on them that I got almost a decade ago.  Yeah.  They still fit.  No, they don't go with anything.
• Driving our 15 passenger van for the first time in a couple months.  I have developed a lead foot apparently.
• My friends being vague. ;-)  I love them anyway

AWESOME

• I'm going to my best friends' house and an awesome youth conference this weekend!!  So looking forward to meeting new people, growing in my relationship with my Savior, and just sitting in the grass with my sisters.
• Passed my Human Growth and Development CLEP test with only 14 days of study time!  WHOO-HOO!!! 
• I changed the oil in my car for the first time!  Fun stuff.
• This Christian counseling book I'm reading called Caring For Souls.  It's fascinating.
• Journals.  Letters.  There are so many things I don't want to forget about right now and so many people to encourage out there.  I'm so thankful for paper and pens.
• Learning some new piano songs!  I haven't practiced for myself in so long.
• I'm shooting a senior on Tuesday!  I love people.  I love taking pictures of people.
• The Frasers were just over for a visit!  I haven't seen them in over 2 years.  It was so nice to reconnect with them and hear about what God is doing among the Native Americans.  You can check out their blog here...

Unadulterated Life

"Life is the messy bits."

There was an article floating around about not instagramming your "perfect life."  People put their best foot forward on the web.  It just happens.  In a sense it should happen because nobody wants to read you complaining about your horrible life, but no one wants to try to live up to your perfect life either.

Well, I'm not sure how I appear on the internet because only you can tell me that.  We do not live spotless lives around here.  There are a lot of mistakes and a lot of stepped on toes and a lot of grace.  GRACE.  What a lovely sound.  

We're just sinners, saved by grace.  To make my point, I thought I'd practice my freelensing and show you what our house is like today because, hehe, yeah, it was a BIG mess today.  Among other things we've replaced both our broken stove and our old fridge.  These installations took more time and effort than we anticipated and no one has energy to clean after a job is finished at 11pm.

Our old, and new, fridges!  Quite obviously still in construction. :-)  Look at that missing drawer!

Old broken electrical stove, and new gas stove!  Still getting used to the way it cooks...

There are books, scissors, glue and miscellaneous craft materials all over the living room floor from last minute project boards for school.

Furniture was moved quickly out of the way for the appliances and is left wherever is landed.

There are crumbs left from baking adventures...

and dry goods strewn all over the dining-room table, just waiting to be relocated.

There are dishes left undone.

So just in case you thought we had it all together... we don't always.  And that is ok.

Awkward & Awesome Thursday: treize

AWKWARD

• Remember when I matched that older guy at Toastmasters?  Yeah?  Well, we've matched the last 3 times I've seen him as well. This is REALLY starting to get awkward.
• Parking crooked
• Being sick and not having the energy to talk with your friends, so you sit there silent and somewhat moody.  My poor friends.
• I'm taking campaign pictures for my Brother and his friend victoria downtown and somebody walks by and offers to take a picture of all of you. Analyzing outfit...homeless "Thank you, but I'm just taking pictures of them today" and I can't afford to have my camera stolen today "It was very nice of you to offer!"
• Almost getting sworn off this old guy's property for simply ringing his doorbell and politely asking a question.
• Not preparing to play the piano because you forgot that you signed up... then taking requests and completely botching one of the hymns.  Why do they still want me to play?!

AWESOME

• Thunder and lightning.  Rain is fine, even delightful at times, but nothing is more soothing than rain WITH thunder and lightning.  Be still my heart.  I love it.
• Bible studies.  Sunday night bible studies in particular.
• Starting to shoot again!  I was so happy on Saturday and Sunday because I just went out and shot.  I was super rushed, but I just did what I could with the places I had and it was amazing.  
• My friends.  
• Jane Austen.  That woman was brilliant.  
• "Something I Need" and "Preacher" from One Republic's new album Native.  So catchy.

AVERAGE

• Passed my Western Civ 1 CLEP
• It's been raining steadily all week
• Working on College Algebra

Sobering

It is with heavy heart that I write these words.  It is with tears and prayers that I share this, because it is real.

It is breaking my heart.

I know a girl.  She is a beautiful brown haired brown eyed girl of 16 or 17 today, but I met her a decade ago.  She was young and somewhat lost.  I did what I could, and when she came over we talked about sewing and clothes and boys.

She looked up to me like a big sister I think, but I didn't realize it.  She fought for attention.  She struggled for approval.  She strived to fit in, to be liked, to be noticed, to be acknowledged.

I knew she was insecure, but because the incredible blessing of a family and sheltered life I lead I didn't realize the implications of that prolonged insecurity.

Then she moved away.  I only saw her once a year when she came back to visit, if even that.  We weren't close, and I didn't reach out.

I caught bits and pieces from mutual friends and I knew that she wasn't fitting in at her school, and knew her best friend there turned out to have ulterior motives and that she was reaching out for, what I now understand to be help and support.

Yesterday this dear, sweet child tried to take her own life.

At the ER they said she'll make it.  She is going to be ok.

The rest of this is extrapolation on my part.  Ok?  Really, she is going to be ok?  What drives a person to the brink of suicide?  How lonely and lost must one feel to want to leave it all that badly?  Her family loves her.  I know that.  They care for her and look out for her, so what drives a person to feel so utterly alone and unloved?  

After the shock of hearing the news the first thing I wanted to do was hop on a plane, fly out there and just hug this girl.  I watched the above video on facebook today and was shaking and crying by the end.  This is all pretty raw and unprocessed, which isn't usual for me.

I wasn't there.  I don't know what happened with her, or with any of the other kids in the video.  I know this happens, I know this is reality, and it just hurts even more.  Words matter.  What you say makes an impact, and don't you forget it.

James puts it like this in James 3(italics and bold added):

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.

 So for now, let's watch what we say, ok?  No, you know what?  Let's watch what we think to.  If you don't think that someone is inferior for his size or what he thinks about pork chops or what someone's face looks like you aren't going to say it.  These people are made in the likeness of God!  God's image!

 They have dignity and worth and beauty because of it.


Go love them.

Awkward & Awesome Thursday: douze

AWKWARD

• Accidentally matching and older man in my new toastmasters club.  He welcomed me to my first meeting as an official member with: "If I had a scarf on, you wouldn't be able to tell us apart!"  *Insert grumpy cat meme: NO!*  Sir, I sincerely hope not.  
• Trying on a number of outfits on a given morning and thinking "That would be cute...if you were pregnant!" for every. single. one.
• McDonalds.  I always hear or see something unusual when I go in there.  Yesterday, on the way to the bathroom I walked past a disheveled looking middle-aged man.  From behind I could hear him muttering and signaling to the emptiness in the far corner of the room to "call me."  When I passed him again on the way back he was in quiet conversation with the space across from him.   He was the only person in that wing of the McDonalds.
• Getting super psyched about the hand-me-downs that my grandma was going to donate to goodwill, and being rather nonchalant about the retail clothing (designed for people my age) that my grandma actually bought for me.  Yes, I wear clothes that my grandma was even giving away.  Don't laugh.  You'll be jealous when you see the upcycling projects I have in mind. :-)

AWESOME

• My acne regime is working.  This is quite a breakthrough.  I've not the blessing of clear skin and I hate having to put make up on, so being able to look like this⇧ without any make up is super cool.  Hallelujah!
• Singing.  Playing the piano. dancing.  It's all good.
• Productivity.  I've started using lists again and I have never gone to bed more mentally exhausted.  It is not like a muscle that you can massage out, all that information gets stuck in your head and there isn't anything you can do but sleep.
• Italian.  My brother Hudson is learning it through Rosetta Stone and announced the other day that he can't wait till we will be able to converse in it.  I guess that is a hint to started. :-)  So I've started.
• Climbing a climbing wall for the first time and Emily's birthday party.  Yes, this is old news, but I'm going through photos to post so it is on my mind. :-)
• Memorizing scripture again. Just do it.  Just start with one verse.  One more, just for today.  You will not regret it, I can guarantee it.
• Planning to not do school tomorrow and sew instead!!!!  People! I'm so. super. excited.
• You guys!  My followers!  I went from 118 to 121 and had 6 comments to moderate.  That just makes my heart do a little flutter jump.  Thanks.
• Let my life be the proof, Lord!

Awkward & Awesome Thursday: onze

AWKWARD

• Driving your brother to the library to pick up books that he needs for school the next day.  Simple enough, right?  Yeah...no.  After looking around for a while we finally find 1 book that will work.  Better than nothing.  Than goes to check it out.  Oops, we forgot all the library cards.  Well, we usually  just use our mom's anyway.  "Can I see some ID?"  Sure!  Reaching for his back pocket...no wallet.  Hmmm, must have left it at home.  But my sister has some!  Of course I do!  I mean, duh, I drove him here.  I'm supposed to be the responsible adult, you know?  "Your driver's license is fine."  *reaches into purse* Looks down into purse* Gives lady a distressed grin*  Funny thing Ma'am, uh, I don't have it with me.  I can't believe I drove the car without my license!  Anyway, just to prove we weren't some homeschool delinquents who jacked a car and were planning to steal the library book as well, we drove home to get my license and came back so we could check out the one silly book.  Awkward enough by itself, but compounded by the fact that also standing there was an acquaintance of mine who is also the big sister of two of the guys on the same basketball team as Than.  I suppose though, +Allison Bunke that it is better you saw the worst of us.  We shall have to redeem ourselves by having y'all over to go sledding, drink hot chocolate, and play some boardgames.  What do you think?  :-) 
• Trying to figure out how to respond when a friend repeats back to you the same information you told her a couple months ago...I guess I should just be flattered that she remembers, even if she doesn't remember where she learned it. :-)

AWESOME

• We're going to visit my brother this weekend!
• This new workout I'm doing every morning.  Thanks Hannie! (P.S. She is also an amazing photographer and designer, she is designing my website!  You should check her out on facebook.)

• My Social Justice course I'm taking through CollegePlus!  It has been so worthwhile.
• This song by Kate and Sarah Sparks. Home.
• Helping chaperone Emily's 8th birthday party.  Little kids are the bomb. :-)

Awkward & Awesome Thursday: dix

AWKWARD

• Figuring out how to not be rude and not leading on at the same time, especially when dealing with special needs people.
• Wearing guys pajamas because they match my brothers' and we got them for Christmas.
• Finding out the hard way that my favorite sweater was 100% fine merino wool, and dry clean only.  Let's just say that Emily has a really sweet felt sweater now.
• Taking pictures outside in my formal dress (pictures/post coming) when it is 15 degrees and getting sticks caught in the lace.
• Secrets, especially when they aren't your own.
• Putting myself out there.  I'm was a very private person until very recently and when you open up, sometimes you get hurt.  Let's just say I'm still getting used to the fact that I'm my own person, if that makes any sense whatsoever.

AWESOME

• Winter Retreat + at Story Book Lodge Christian Camp.  I met so many people and was encouraged and challenged beyond belief by the bible study and talks I had with like-minded believers.
• Hymn sings and learning new songs.
• Finishing sewing projects, especially the 3 formal dresses for the Premiere which really should get its own bullet...
• The Premiere was this past Saturday! 
• Spending time with my friends Emily and +Kara Morell !  :-)
• The Hobbit.  Just go see it.  It is awesome.
• The PianoGuys.  They've come out with some awesome new stuff lately, but I always go back to this classic.  I could listen to it on repeat for days.

A Puzzle ❙ time well spent

I'd had a burst of inspiration.  I finally knew what I was going to do with my dress and I wanted to get sketching right away.  I was busy and I was going to go hole myself up in my "studio" when a little voice piped from behind the loveseat:

"Hey, Jo, do you want to help me with my puzzle?"

Her back was turned and she couldn't see my shoulders droop and feet drag towards the exit.  She couldn't hear my thoughts saying "no, not now Emmy I'm busy.  Some other time." 

She didn't see my grimace as I realized what I would be missing.  She couldn't see my petulant face and repentant heart, she was still concentrating on finding that one special piece.

I realized that my little sister is days away from her 8th birthday.  What with my school and hers if I blinked I would miss her whole life.  I would wake up one day and a young lady would be my roommate, not the little girl I was so used to telling how to spell words while we wrote our various things late into the night or sang songs to and hugged during the thunderstorms.

I knew I should treasure this time I have with her.  Savor her crazy obsession with the candy cane striped socks with the fur on them and the crazy santa's elf hat she wears to hide that she hasn't brushed her hair and it's a rats nest.

I should remember the way the fire feels warming my back and the sound of her voice as she says "I've got another one" thirty times over.  I should never fail to encourage her with a "good one!" or "yeah!"

I don't want to ever put things above people.  I want to invest in people, and especially my siblings.  

And besides, I do love a good puzzle. 

 So I replied,

"Sure Emm, I'd love to."

Awkward & Awesome Thursday: neuf

AWKWARD

• Overhearing bits of conversations like "they're so much creepier when they're upset..."  
• People presume that I'm my Dad's wife when we are by ourselves.  Do I look that old?  Or does he look that young?  Or are they somehow missing that I resemble him like a daughter would??
• How many people have come over to our house for a meal any number of years ago and we can't remember them.  I remember everybody.  But I have NO recollection of this.  It is really awkward.  I'm looking forward to getting to know them though...again.
• Being in the newspaper, except it is only half of your head behind someone elses.  That is the way it usually works out.  Or like that one time a huge photo spread of my soccer team that my dad was coaching got put in the paper but I had gone to use the bathroom like 30 seconds earlier and completely missed it.  :-/
• Not having business cards.
• How I'm a photographer and I don't post any photos.  How I'm a seamstress and I haven't been posting my projects...

AWESOME

• Our performance of Handel's Messiah this past weekend was amazing.  I love singing that work. It was extra special this year because some of our friends from the NICYO orchestra joined and I hadn't seen them in some time. :-)
• I got an A on my first College course and now have 3 credits. :-D  Yippee!  It wasn't as high a score as I was anticipating, but my coach said it was still an A, so that is nice.  Up next, Analyzing and interpreting Literature!
• Letters from India that smell like India.  It was actually Jasmine perfume, but it really did smell like India.
• 2 different on the fly hairstyles from pinterest/blogs that turned out great.
• My brothers have introduced my to Imagine dragons.  Yikes.  Some of that is SO powerful.
• Feeling ill and helpless and all I wanted to do was play the piano.  (the playing the piano part is the awesome part, not the ill part.)  
• Happy music

God bless the plumbers...every one

No seriously.  They must have the worst job.  Ok, you know what?  You're right. They're tied with septic pumpers.

I've had my share of plumbing adventures and every time I look up at my Dad in bewilderment and say "Why does anyone choose to become a plumber?"

The answer is accompanied with a smile and always the same: "Because they need to feed their families."

I stare into space and shake my head slowly.
Then I get back to work.

For some reason, you see, the plumbing lot has always fallen to me.  I guess I'm not perceived as busy enough to get out of it or I don't immediately reject the idea and so I get delegated as a willing (or perhaps simply not unwilling) individual.

We call it "voluntold" around here.

I suppose it isn't particularly gross.  And this time it hardly smelled at all.  And it wasn't hard to fix.  So why am I complaining you ask?

Ah, but you mistake me!  I complain not, I merely seek to entertain with a glimpse into the odd education that is sometimes thrust upon that most interesting and mysterious race of the Stay-at-Home-Daughter.  We really are a most convivial sort.

Occasionally the basement floods from rain and there is a lot of clean up work to do or the sump pump ceases to function and there is a flood of an altogether more detestable sort.  This was a mere kitchen flood.

I was sick Monday.  That is my excuse.  Fevered and lackluster I would not being getting up to sustain myself with food and drink (except water, 'cause, you know, that's supposed to be healthy ;-) let alone clean up after my most adored siblings and their culinary adventures.

Tuesday is well, today.  Except it is yesterday because I'm not publishing this till tomorrow, which is actually today.  :-)  I love watching your brains work.

Tuesday is co-op day and praise be to God I was feeling quite recovered this morning and was perhaps my energy levels only lapsed because I didn't bother to eat much after breakfast.

 Anywho.  The family was gone to co-op and I was hear all by my lonesome studying literature, most intriguing of all how to read and analyze and interpret poems.  You know, I've never given poems enough notice...

Needless to say in my academic endeavors I did no kitchen work and cleaned no dishes (I didn't make any dirty dishes either, but apparently that is irrelevant).  So now on this Tuesday evening the kitchen is piled high with dishes from 48 or possible 56 hours before.

Don't even mention it, I'm already embarrassed.

Well, I'd nothing better to do at 9PM (except go to bed and continue recovery or waste some time on line and stay up super late writing this extremely long blog post that probably no on else is going to read...moving on!) so I decided to do something about the sorry state of the kitchen.

I start loading the dishwasher and putting the dirty dishes on the right side of sink and organizing everything so that I can work efficiently when it is brought to my attention that the pipe below the sink has been dripping and that it must be backed up because there are four inches of filthy water in both sides of the sink underneath stack of dishes.

Eeesshh.  I stop humming.  Time to really buckle down.  I'm not squeamish folks, but I do avoid putting my hands in filthy water whenever possible.

It was a dark orangish/yellow/brown mixture with food from who-knows-what-meal floating in it and isolated lillypads of cool grease (presumably bacon?).  I fished some junk out of the bottom and when my hands emerged again -- slimy, cold and smelly -- The water droplets formed neat little pockets atop the greasy grime.

Oh Joy.  Well, we're already this far in and we've simply got to fix it.  Daddy has to study tonight because he has got books to read and papers due.  Mommy is painting in the bathroom, Than is half asleep because he had basketball practice this evening, Hudson is mentally tired after co-op and drama and is probably practicing cello.  Emily, frankly, would not be any help.

Thankfully I'm wearing my "AIR FORCE SISTER" T-shirt to remind that "No guts, no glory."  Not that I'm going for glory.  I'd just as soon have a clean kitchen and a happy family...and this stuff OFF OF MY HANDS!!!

So, after all of this it really was a simple fix.  My Dad just stuck a hanger down the hole and jiggled whatever nefarious substance was there loose so the standing water would drain.  Some soap, boiling water, paper towel, unscrewing of PVC, draining of water, cleaning of some soot color muck out of said PVC and reattachment of the same everything was fixed and I finished loading the dishwasher and did half of the handwash!

You'll thank me someday for not posting pictures when you're sink clogs someday.

And there you have it!  Today's Adventure in Domestica! 

...to be continued

Awkward & Awesome Thursday: huit

AWKWARD

• Taking an proctored final exam online one morning where they tape everything you do through your webcam to make sure you're not cheating.  Then realizing I'm still in my pajamas.  Whoops.
• Texting with my vocabulary.  Did you know that words like "expectations," "tomorrow," "covertly," "compatible," "continuity," "lightning," "production," "squashed," "basketball," "entertainment," "disappearing" and "unlimited" are very long words?  Perhaps I should stick with email.  Yes, I am one of those people who uses commas, periods, and apostrophes in texts. 
• Not having business cards when people ask for them
• Budgeting time.  I need to study, I want to read, I want to sew, I want to take pictures, I need to workout more.  If I didn't have lists I wouldn't get anything done on time.

AWESOME

• Well, I got a cellphone.  :-)  This will be good especially for my business.  Unlimited texting and minutes for $30 a month.  
• Setting up my facebook page for Joanna Kay Photography!  Go ahead and like it here for updates and photos!
• Jamie is home on break!
• Organizing my "studio" again and getting rid of 3 bags full of junk.
• Singing the Handel's Messiah this weekend!
• Safe and Sound by William Joseph.  I had it on repeat on Youtube for a couple minutes and then bought it and LOVE it.  ;-)  Check it out.

Loss

Change is a part of life.  It just happens.  But sometimes it is hard, and it makes you re-think things that you had thought were just fine.

My Grandma just called.  My Great-Grandpa died today.

How does one process things like this?  The house suddenly feels stuffy and the air grows stale.  The only thing I think is to get outside.  Now.  It isn’t warm enough anymore to go out without a jacket but it feels right.  

A cold splash of reality.  

I breath deeply for a couple moments and a tear slides down my cheek.  The wind cradles our wind chime and a single note rings out. 

I lose it.

I don’t ask why.  I don’t think life is unfair to me.  He was 97 and I knew the last time I saw him that it would be the last.  You know it is coming and then...it comes... and you just don’t understand how someone can be here one moment and then, the next they are gone forever.