sept five

50mm     ISO1600     f2.8     1/400     5:09PM     9/5/17

Didn't want to shoot anything today.  I was hot and cold and happy and sad and motivated and worn.  But I was 30 minutes early for Taekwondo, so I practiced using my self timer (10 seconds, one shot) and my high turning kick.  Took about 30 shots, but only 3 were timed perfectly enough to catch my foot close or at it's peak.   Keep shooting I guess.  Don't give up.  And don't be afraid to be your own subject?  I struggle with that in particular.  I want to be in photos, but I don't like wanting it...  It's weird.

#justkeepshooting  #bethesubject

Taekwondo - 6 Side Effects

I'm on the far left, and Emily is the blue belt in the center.

Well, we've hit the 8 month mark!  I just had another double belt test last night and my Dad got some pictures, so I thought I'd share them and some side effects of my TKD journey so far.  See, when you get to the higher colored belts you have to decide whether you're willing to work hard, or going to coast at your current level till you lose the excitement.  I was fit and motivated enough to get to the higher belts (blue and up at our Dojang) without much effort.  Now that I'm here though, it takes much physical exertion and exercise outside of class to improve.  When you reach this stage, TKD becomes a big part of your life.  So. . .

1.  You polarize people.  Inadvertently, you spend your spare moments and thoughts on some area of TKD.  You want to talk about it all the time.  Some people you will learn to keep a tight lip around so as not to drive them nuts.  Others?  Well, they happen to be your best friends and you convince them that martial arts is the best form of exercise out there or teach them how to break boards.  Some of them start Taekwondo for themselves. :)

Helping kids tie belts is actually quite rewarding.

 2. Faster reflexes (a.k.a. ninja skills, in the vernacular).  Usually it is increased ability to swat and kill flies with your bare hands.  Other times, it looks like realizing that kid number 2 is knocking over a heavy coat tree and catching it before it lands on kid number 3, all while not dropping the diaper bag, purse, or kid number 4.  SO many tears avoided this evening. #babysittinglikeaboss

Hand combinations

 3.  Flexibility/stretching.  All the time, everywhere.  Even though I used to shake my head at those girls who always walk around in workout clothes or yoga pants, I've started to embrace the culture.  I'm flexible enough now that "regular" pants don't allow me to stretch out my hips as far as they need. Wearing stretchy pants means I can get deep stretches without having to change my clothes.  It's like keeping your instrument out of it's case.  Half the battle of practicing music is getting the instrument and music out.  If it's out, you will play.  If you are wearing the appropriate pants, you will stretch.

This certainly isn't my best front kick, but it's the only one in a picture. :)

Taegeuk Yuk Jang

 4. Pain = Conditioning.  You know that whole "weakness leaving the body" saying?  I've never understood it, but pain has definitely taken on a new sort of sensation.  Scrape my hand?  Conditioning.  Stub my toe? Conditioning.  Bonk my head?  Conditioning.  Crazy out of breath from Ultimate Frisbee?  Conditioning.  At least I don't complain much anymore. ;)

That hair flip, though.

Board breaking is addicting.

5. Laundry.  I already mentioned the yoga pants, but it goes farther.  Sports bras, Doboks, tank tops -- all manner of athletic wear makes up probably 50% of my load every week (and most of it is air-dry only!).  Dobok pants (let's be honest, the whole uniform) are not flattering, but my new uniform is a little better, and the more you use it,(sweat in it and wash it -- *cough*)  the more comfortable it gets.

Must be laundry day! Easily 50% of my laundry these days is workout clothes. The only downside? Almost all of it (including my doboks) should be air-dried. Oh, and check out my new higher belt Dobok! #soexcited #kicklikeagirl #taekwondo #laundry

A photo posted by Joanna Webber (@josnazz) on Sep 4, 2015 at 11:31am PDT

6.  Your definition of "Feeling good" changes.  I still love a book, a blanket, cider, and a fireplace, but it's not what I run to when I'm feeling down anymore.  Exhausted, mentally spent, in pain because of aunt flow? Go to the gym.  Things worth having take effort and hard work.  I realized after a particularly lousy personal performance last week that I was going to have to focus and work hard to grow.  I realized simultaneously that my spiritual life was in the same state as my body.  I was trying to coast by on past achievements and relax.  I felt like I had "arrived" (at who knows what), but in reality I had a bad attitude.  My walk with Jesus Christ is only as good as I want it to be, and it takes effort on my part to stay engaged.  Hard work and struggle leads to growth, and that makes it the best feeling in the world.

Sometimes sweaty and sore is the best feeling in the world. #taekwondo #kicklikeagirl

A photo posted by Joanna Webber (@josnazz) on Sep 22, 2015 at 5:42pm PDT

Taekwondo - 6 month update

Green belts, yo. #taekwondo #kicklikeagirl

A photo posted by Joanna Webber (@josnazz) on Jun 9, 2015 at 7:53pm PDT

You may remember this post from 5 months ago about my beginning in martial arts.  I was so new, nervous, and excited.  Could I really do this?  Will this make me a more aggressive person?  Will this change the way people see me?  How far do I want to go with this?  Since then the nerves have turned into drive and the excitement into fascination.

-I CAN do this.  It's hard, but I can do it.

-TKD doesn't make me more aggressive than I was, but it gives me an outlet to be straight up aggressive instead of always passive aggressive. ;)

-Yes, it does change the way people see me (but only if they know).  It changes the way I see other people too.  My parents are proud of me and rarely fail to list TKD when they spout my list of achievements.  Embarrassing?  Yes.  Normal?  So much yes.  I love having parents who are proud of me, even if it is a little uncomfortable.  Emmy and I have been referred to as "resident weapons" at our church.  My pseudobros (guys being discipled by my family) give me an even wider berth as a half serious joke.  I make them hold boards I break just to remind them of what I can do every once in a while.  Haha!  This is why Mom says I have no boyfriend.  Maybe it's true.  #noregrets

-As to how far I'm going, I should think that is obvious -- first dan black belt!!  I have to get my black belt first, but then I have to keep working and perfecting to get my first dan stripe.  That's when I will feel truly accomplished.

It's hard to believe that I've already tested twice (one of those a double test) and accomplished my first goal: getting a green belt by the end of the year.  Not only that, but later this week I get to double test again! Blue and Brown belts, here I come!

Hopefully I'll get more photos, facts, and tips up in posts in the future.

Taekwondo - Security in Structure

A couple weeks ago, on February 17, Emily and I walked tentatively into a classroom swarming with white uniforms.  We had decided to join Taekwondo.  I'm not sure what made me want to.  Maybe it was just a weird hodgepodge of superhero movies, Asian cultures, self-defense, and wanting to be part of a team again.  Whatever the reason, there we were.  Timidly following the movements of people half our height and frantically trying to remember positions, numbers, and commands in Korean.
Think about this for a moment.  With few exceptions, I'm the tallest and oldest person in the group, but I know less than Master Kim's three-year-old daughter.  I stick out like a sore thumb and am constantly being shown up by 12 year-olds.  I'm the only female adult.  I'm an introvert.  I don't ever yell -- not when I'm excited and certainly not when I'm angry.  I tend to think of myself as rather feminine (I wouldn't go so far as to say docile though; stubbornness runs deep in our family. :).  Why in the world am I starting Martial Arts?  I should be the last person to volunteer for this, but here I am. And I love it.

Humility
Levels are very obvious in Taekwondo.  Everyone wears a white dobok, but your belt color is your level.  Newbies get white belts with their uniform.  When you pass the first test you get a yellow belt, and then an orange belt all the way till you are a black belt of the 9th degree.  Beginners also stand at the back.  This is so they can observe and follow the high belts in front of them.  I stand at the very back and I have a very white belt. ;)  Instead of being embarrassed though, I am learning humility and I go to the 10 year-old green belt for help with my form and the 12 year-old orange belt for help with the korean words.  I can learn something from everyone.  Even the little three year-old to goofs off in class I learn about the rules from.

Respect
Maybe this is just me being sick of my own disrespectful culture, but I love following orders.  I love that we have to say "sir."  I love that we bow to our master, to each other, and every time we enter and leave our "dojang."  I love learning the polite way to say hello and thank you in Korean.

Community
We help each other and sometimes end up laughing because things are just so confusing.  There are a couple older dad and grandpa black belts who always greet me by name and encourage me to keep coming.  They help me with kicking technique.  Even our Master is very friendly and always willing to help you do your best if you're willing to focus and learn.  I have been pursuing my Bachelor's degree at home by myself for almost 2.5 years now.  I have no face to face interaction with professors or classmates, and only two of my classes have involved recorded videos of any kind.  Yes, I'm an introvert, but there is something about having peers and working together towards a goal that is inspiring and invigorating.  I didn't know how much I needed this till my third week at Taekwondo.  Emily and I had our uniforms.  We got our names written on them (phonetically in Korean) so Master Kim knows our names.  We were part of a group of 25 students all doing the exact same motions at the same time.  That was way cool, guys.

Exercise
At first you just go through the motions, but as you learn you build on your flexibility, speed and power and you sweat.  Big time.

Confidence
There's this thing called a kihap.  Theoretically it is your energy, or inner power.  Basically it is a unique exhale that connects your muscles so that you have stronger movements.  In practice it is a yell.  You must do it for every action.  There is some fear involved because there is the chance that people might make fun of your sound or something.  I don't make loud sounds or ever really let loose with my voice.  I don't scream when I'm scared or angry.  I never used to raise my voice at all.  I had such trouble learning to project in speech, drama, and choir.  So, now I have to find my kihap and use it in class.  Master Kim can tell that I'm holding back and he pushed me to just let go.  When I finally did I broke the board with my side-kick.  So, yeah, there is something to it. :-)  I'm slowly learning to let go.  Thanks TKD.


Goals:
-Splits by the end of the year
-green belt by the end of the year
-learn the Korean terms!