Uncharted

It's not just a new year for me, it is the end of the beginning.  2015 holds the end of my planned future.  Granted, I only planned through college, but it is still weird seeing the end of the road and not knowing what is beyond it.

For years people have been asking:  "What are you doing afterward?"  "Are you going to work?"  "What about your photography?"  "Are you going to get married?" "Where are you going to live?"  "Do you have plans?"  These questions used to bug me (especially the marriage one.  Like, how am I supposed to know?! But I digress. . .) but now I hear them and instead of panic there is curiosity.  I can look them in the eyes, smile, and just say I've been wondering the same thing! 

I love the security of school and the control of a holding pattern(my Dad was a pilot, we use a ton of Air Force and pilot jargon around here), because you exactly what you are supposed to do.  Wake up, read, write, eat, think, sleep, dream, repeat. (By the way, I dream just about every night.  It's pretty cool)  Now seeds of things I've always wanted to do are being planted in the soil of my little heart.  Just waiting for the right time to break through and open to the sun.  Things like finally finish learning Morris Code.  Cook my way through one of my cookbooks.  Leave a massive tip at a restaurant.  Become TESOL certified.  Learn ju jitsu or karate.  Road trip somewhere remote and live like and owl so I can watch the Stars all night.  Dress up and go to an Opera.  Change someone's life.  Take voice lessons.  Join the swim team again.  Volunteer at an orphanage.  Start painting again.  Finally become fluent in another language.  Flip a house.  Go for walks when it rains.  Learn how to wear makeup (yeah. . . I'm 20 and haven't really bothered with it yet. . .).  Learn how to do more than just change oil or tires on a car.  Learn how to hot-wire a car.  Stop losing things.  Learn kanji characters.  Memorize Titus.

There is an ocean of possibilities in these uncharted waters.  So 2015?  Let's do this.

"Send out your light and your truth;
let them lead me;
let them bring me to your holy hill
and to your dwelling!
Then I will go to the altar of God,
to God my exceeding joy,
and I will praise you with the lyre,
O God, my God."

Psalm 43:3-4 (ESV)

Mending like Jesus

I realized yesterday (while sitting at my sewing machine patching some jeans) that I really like mending.  I like making the mending pile disappear, yes, but more than that, I like fixing things.  

When my sister’s favorite pair of jeans gets a tear, when a button pops off my Dad’s shirt, or my brother’s shirt needs tailoring, I love fixing it.  Whether it’s just hemming a pair of pants, or completely refashioning a dress, being able to infuse new life and usefulness into something brings me joy.

Jesus does similar things with people.  He takes broken people and fixes them.  He heals the brokenhearted. (See Psalm 147:3-5, Psalm 34:18) He restores relationships.  He tweaks and molds his sons and daughters till they are able to fulfill his purpose for them.  (Isaiah 64:8)

It looks a little silly in writing, but being able to put fabric and thread back in order is one way makes me look a little more like Jesus.  When I was mending those jeans I really felt like I was feeling God’s satisfaction in the work of restoration after him. 

As we live the Christian life, we strive to be more and more like God.  Not desiring his position, as a friend said at Bible study, but desiring his character.  When people look at us, they should see the Maker.  They should see what “Christian” actually means: little Christs.  As we grow in Christ we can’t help but look more and more like our Father.  Of taking joy in creation and restoration is part of that, then so be it.  Mend on!

And when life gets rough, you dance.

I have never been so busy in my entire life.  Four College classes, three jobs, prepping to lead a Bible study, Speech club, Messiah rehearsals, helping plan a friend's wedding, a Halloween ball, hygiene, eating, Pen-pals, sleeping, gym.  I just realized that it isn't humanly possible to finish everything that I have to do this week.  No matter how much I do in a day there's more to start the minute I wake up again.  I feel swallowed.

Sometimes when I'm about to drown I start to laugh and think about what it will be like to look back in a couple months and remember how stressed out I was and how small a part of my life it was.

Sometimes I need to close the books, delay the meetings, put off the dishes, and take five minutes to forget.

Sometimes I need to slow dance by myself in the living room to this^ song.

Then things seem a little bit brighter,

a little more possible,

and a little more at peace. 

3 Things

Emm wanted to make a doll, and when she saw Lupita Nyong'o on this magazine, she knew exactly what she wanted it to look like.  She named it Latisha.

• An interesting article on public wifi and the hazards
• "They may not have wealth, but they have dignity."  My favorite quote front this article on what to not give the poor. 
• For better or worse, this is TRUE: